happy birthday... now get to work!

Not to brag, but... (get ready for ensuing bragging)... I found the best birthday present ever! Perfect for relaxing, enjoying the outdoors, spending time with loved ones... what more could a birthday celebrator want?

The husband has been talking about getting a hammock for years. So, since he is turning 30, and might need to rest his weary bones every now and again, I thought he deserved to finally have a hammock in the backyard.

The catch is (there's always a catch - ask Yossarian), we don't have any trees in our backyard. And when I say "no trees", I don't mean, "no trees big enough to hang a hammock on", I mean "NO TREES."

Before you throw up your hands in disgust at my obliviousness to the simple solution, I am aware of the crafty hammock stands. In fact, we had one when I was younger. Which is why I did not get one now. I believe the word "stand" means: for your safety, please STAND to the side of this thing - if you attempt to board, you will promptly be ejected from either side of the hammock. Granted, that may have had something to do with the younger brother and sister, and our violation of the directions advising against roughhousing, swinging like we were on a fair ride (without the tickets and height above the plywood measuring stick required for preboarding), and the fun associated with flipping someone out of the hammock (and by someone, I mean someone else - it was always fun as the flipper... not so fun as the flippee).

Even when the siblings were not around, it was always difficult to get into the hammock stand... you had to stand in the middle - the EXACT middle - and delicately lower yourself onto the hammock, then put one leg in - stabilize - scoot in a bit - don't drop the book - grab the rope with your hand and pull yourself in a bit more... raise the other leg off the ground - wobble, wobble - scoot in more - hear the stand rattle because it is never on level ground - flop in entirely... heave a giant sigh of relief. Relax for 7 minutes before realizing you have to go to the bathroom. Damn.

So, because we (I mean, he) wants to hang the hammock from posts, his birthday present was a generous gift of relaxation. As soon as he measures, digs the holes, sets the posts in concrete, inserts the hooks, and puts up the hammock. So, as soon as he gets to work, we will both be able to enjoy his birthday hammock! Oh, did I mention that it is a 2-person hammock? I am such a giver.

No comments: