lessons learned

What we have learned from our puppy that we can bring forward into parenthood:

  • Remember to feed the kid twice a day.
  • If our child drools a lot, we will keep his/her water outside, and wipe his/her mouth before entering the house after drinking water.
  • Always keep the child on a leash when outside the house, else he/she might run away.
  • If our child starts chewing on things we don't want him/her to chew on (shoes, furniture, every single basket full of magazines/yarn/etc. around the house that my husband has been complaining about for the past 5 years - seriously, there has GOT to be a conspiracy there somewhere), we should give him/her a toy to chew on instead of the forbidden item.
  • Take him/her outside every few hours so he/she doesn't pee on the floor.
  • Be firm about sleeping in the crate - don't let the baby sleep just anywhere in the house.
Yep, I think we are TOTALLY prepared for this parenthood position now. Good thing we got that dog...


they say...

They say before you have a baby, you should have a puppy. Since we only have a few months until baby, we got a puppy last night.

Okay, now that you have picked yourself up off the floor, I can continue...

Scout has been talking about getting a dog for YEARS. Over the past 2 years, he has been commenting on every dog we see: "oh, that is a pretty dog," or "honey, wouldn't you like to have a dog to go on walks with you?" My response is always some comment on the amount of hair, slobber, poop in yard, cost of food, blah de blah blah blah versus the benefit of having an animal on a leash during my walks. I have a cell phone - I can talk to people - who actually speak English, not just barky bark woof language.

Over the past few months, he has been researching dog breeds, training (he is very serious about stuff when he is very interested in the topic), and landed on the dog that he says is "PERFECT" for our family. A mastiff. In case you are not familiar with dog breeds (and I am still shocked at how many people ARE familiar with dog breeds), they are the GIANT dogs... look like horses... humongous... mellow, lazy, and um, did I mention HUGE?

Right now, she is a cute, soft little puppy, but she will probably be 80 lbs by 6 months. She is 2 months now, and 23 lbs. I got bumped off Scout's facebook pic for his other woman. She follows him around (well, like a puppy) so much that I started calling him her boyfriend. When I told Scout this, he replied, "she's not my girlfriend... she's my bitch!" That's my husband.

The good news about having a giant dog (we expect she will grow to 150-200 lbs. - I'm really hoping for a "petite" 170) is that we will not need a stroller, we are just going to teach the kid how to ride in a saddle, and have the dog carry the kid around. Maybe even build some sort of contraption like they use on top of elephants so we can strap the car seat to it.

I'm not sure exactly how this happened... I said we could go look at dogs last weekend, and suddenly, we had a puppy taking over our house... I feel like a freshman waking up on Sunday morning in a frat house: "What happened and how did I get here?"

So, it's true... pregnancy can make you lose your mind!


they say selection is RANDOM

If jury selection is truly RANDOM, then how come Scout and I have both received summons for jury duty two weeks apart? Reeeaaaally... random? I would like to present a case that they scroll through the list in alphabetical order. Hmmm... except that his first name would come before mine. Buuuut... this probably isn't the most perfect process, so I'll allow it as evidence that it is possible Scout's name got caught up in a jammed printer, so he was spared for another two weeks, which would allow me to leapfrog ahead of him in potential juror line. It's plausible.

I am pretty sure if I do have to go down to the courthouse, it will only be for one day. Scout assures me that nobody wants a hormonal woman sitting on a jury. Especially once they see how many bathroom breaks I'll need! I am considering bringing a box of tissues with me in case of potential selection, since I'm pretty sure I can cry on demand these days.

No knitting needles to pass my time (deadly weapons - you should SEE the statistics on knitting needles deaths in the U.S. - on the rise!). I'll have to pass my time with the good, old fashioned book. Which might be nice, since I have a stack about 2 feet high of books I've been "meaning to read."

Wish me luck next week... sitting in a room with 347 of my closest friends, all with last names starting with "O."


growth spurt

By the eighth grade, I had already completed my growth spurt, reaching peak elevation at 5'8". Which, I now appreciate - I can reach the top cabinets in my kitchen, don't have to hem my pants, and all sorts of other perks (none of which I can think of at this moment, but I know they exist). But in junior high, 5'8" was ridiculous - I towered over all the boys, and my poofy Jersey Girl bangs only accentuated my height. Fortunately, pegging your pants was in, so I didn't have to worry about my pants being too short - good thing, cause that was well before the Gap made pants in ankle/regular/long versions.

It has been many moons (and perhaps even a score ago, but a lady cannot admit her true age) since I have experienced a growth spurt, but here it goes again... and this time, I am not growing UP, but rather, growing OUT. Yes, it's true - I am currently baking a little Scout in the oven. We are not sure if it is a girl scout or a boy scout yet, but we will be asking the kind people with the cold lotion, metal prodder and mysterious black and white screen if they recommend blue or pink. See justification

My official due date (per Google search) is September 7, 2009 - yes, Labor Day. I am sure since I would so appreciate the irony of that, this child will not arrive on that day. In case that doesn't work out, I will be issuing an eviction notice on 9/9/09 - cause how cool would that be?!?! But rumor has it that the spawn don't listen, even though everyone says they can hear you in there! So, I say to my child: arrive whenever you want - we can't wait to meet you!