So many weddings that my hairdresser asks me where I have been and who got married every time I see her. She has been a bit disappointed with the decline in weddings this summer, as I only attended two, and only one required travel.
Halfway through the wedding tour, my husband asked me to count out how many more friends I had so he could prepare himself for the quantity of potential weddings in his future. I think he also requested that I not make any new friends that are single.
So, here is a summary of the weddings I have attended over the past half decade (not including my own):
- 18 weddings
- 9 states (California, Oregon, Kentucky, New Jersey, Tennessee, Nevada, Vermont, Maryland, Washington)
- 4 winery nuptials
- 6 church ceremonies
- 5 bridesmaid dresses
- 5 second marriages (per person, not per wedding)
- 9 resulting children
- longest ceremony: 1hr 15 mins
- shortest ceremony: 5 mins
- frequent flyer miles collected: approximately 29,586 (per distance calculator)
- only 1 resulting divorce! Way to beat the national statistics, people! I wonder if I have to calculate for the second marriages to be an accurate statistical analysis? Hmmm...
Not too shabby, eh? I wonder how I even know that many people! And now, for some of the more memorable moments from all these festivities:
- jumping in the pool during a reception... in a bridesmaid dress
- playing cops and robbers in the hotel after reception
- a sign plane fly-by congratulating the couple
- standing on top of an air conditioner vent because bridesmaid dresses are HOT AS HELL
- the cake that didn't show up until 9pm (was one of the best cakes I have ever had, so it was worth the wait)
- wearing an ice pack inside the cleavage of my bridesmaid dress to stay cool during a 100+ degree ceremony (it was a tiny ice pack, and didn't help me gain any cleavage, but it was much cooler than a bunch of tissues)
- timing all of the ceremonies to establish longest and shortest ceremony winners
- vodka bar - for those of you considering this for your next event, it is the best worst idea ever... it seemed great at the time, but I felt quite differently the following afternoon when I was boarding the plane
- stopped up commodes
- running onto the dance floor every time Bon Jovi started playing
- bride, groom & bridal party of 16 leaning out a trolley
singingyelling along to the song Gold Digger, "Holla! We want pre-nups!"
- a photo booth for the guest book... I almost beat out the 5 year olds for most trips into the booth, but they just barely edged me out on that one
- drunk dialing my brother at midnight from my mother's cell phone (and not leaving a message). That really freaked him out... one point for you, mom... though I barely put a dent in the paybacks for all his midnight calls to you...
- locking ourselves IN a hotel room (which I still think must have been a fire code violation)
To all my friends and family who have said "I do," thanks for all the fabulous memories of your celebrations.