they did

I was thinking about my HOMEbody post, and reflecting on some of my adventures over the past few years. What have I done? Where have I been? For those of you who know me, I have adopted a pastime of attending weddings. If I were in high school, I would have been president of the "Going To Weddings Club". Not as lucrative as my original plan to be in the Babysitters Club, but my name isn't Claudia, so I had explore alternative options.

So many weddings that my hairdresser asks me where I have been and who got married every time I see her. She has been a bit disappointed with the decline in weddings this summer, as I only attended two, and only one required travel.

Halfway through the wedding tour, my husband asked me to count out how many more friends I had so he could prepare himself for the quantity of potential weddings in his future. I think he also requested that I not make any new friends that are single.

So, here is a summary of the weddings I have attended over the past half decade (not including my own):
  • 18 weddings
  • 9 states (California, Oregon, Kentucky, New Jersey, Tennessee, Nevada, Vermont, Maryland, Washington)
  • 4 winery nuptials
  • 6 church ceremonies
  • 5 bridesmaid dresses
  • 5 second marriages (per person, not per wedding)
  • 9 resulting children
  • longest ceremony: 1hr 15 mins
  • shortest ceremony: 5 mins
  • frequent flyer miles collected: approximately 29,586 (per distance calculator)
  • only 1 resulting divorce! Way to beat the national statistics, people! I wonder if I have to calculate for the second marriages to be an accurate statistical analysis? Hmmm...

Not too shabby, eh? I wonder how I even know that many people! And now, for some of the more memorable moments from all these festivities:

  • jumping in the pool during a reception... in a bridesmaid dress
  • playing cops and robbers in the hotel after reception
  • a sign plane fly-by congratulating the couple
  • standing on top of an air conditioner vent because bridesmaid dresses are HOT AS HELL
  • the cake that didn't show up until 9pm (was one of the best cakes I have ever had, so it was worth the wait)
  • wearing an ice pack inside the cleavage of my bridesmaid dress to stay cool during a 100+ degree ceremony (it was a tiny ice pack, and didn't help me gain any cleavage, but it was much cooler than a bunch of tissues)
  • timing all of the ceremonies to establish longest and shortest ceremony winners
  • vodka bar - for those of you considering this for your next event, it is the best worst idea ever... it seemed great at the time, but I felt quite differently the following afternoon when I was boarding the plane
  • stopped up commodes
  • running onto the dance floor every time Bon Jovi started playing
  • bride, groom & bridal party of 16 leaning out a trolley singing yelling along to the song Gold Digger, "Holla! We want pre-nups!"
  • a photo booth for the guest book... I almost beat out the 5 year olds for most trips into the booth, but they just barely edged me out on that one
  • drunk dialing my brother at midnight from my mother's cell phone (and not leaving a message). That really freaked him out... one point for you, mom... though I barely put a dent in the paybacks for all his midnight calls to you...
  • locking ourselves IN a hotel room (which I still think must have been a fire code violation)

To all my friends and family who have said "I do," thanks for all the fabulous memories of your celebrations.

1 comment:

Suzanne said...

Ha ha, stopped up commodes! If you count your own, I've been to 4 of those weddings with you. Which isn't bad, since I've only been to 5 weddings in my past 5 years.